The Usual Unknown Feelings

March 5, 2009

Me: Hey honey, you going to Windhooek this weekend? Thea left some stuff in my PC box, if it’s not too much will you grab it for me? Thank you.

AM: Hi. How are you? Yeah I’ll grab the stuffs and try not to run away from here :)

Me: Oh as long as you don’t run away without me :)
I’m good and not so good and trying to work through my issues (of which there are enough). How are you?

AM: Even me Miss. Seem to be struggling but feel like less struggle than last month…good then who knows then bed then alright then rocky. I don’t know anymore :)

Me: Oh you know I don’t know…up and down and all around %-)

AM: Yep and all the time. Permanently %-) hahahahahahaha

Me: Shallow pool of insanity ;-)

AM: Hahahahaaa…someone please tell me I’m going to have or least feel like I have more control over my life when this is all over?!

Me: Yes, you’ll have the illusion of control but once you’ve been in the matrix…

AM: But I thought this was going to make me stronger and now I feel it’s having a reverse affect. Sorry…heavy stuff %-)

Me: Hah stuff is heavy for me right now too. I thought this would build the character of Christ, which it may…when I stop feeling like a jerk. It’s all topsy turvy at the moment :-P

AM: Hehe I don’t know, we’ll see I guess. I’m trying so hard to stay positive. Or something like that. Hmmmm. Breather and remind myself that I’m not lost. And pray too 

Me: Learning to find balance in this crazy life and coming out (somewhat) sane on the other side will make us stronger. Until that glorious day we can breather deeply, pray often, and try to focus on the good things and bring ourselves back to a place of thankfulness when we realize we’ve drifted into the darkness. I’m thankful that you’re my friend 

AM: You’re so right, with everything. And I am so thankful for you too. That sms is a keeper. This place makes me struggle with everything. Even being a good friend %-)