Na ru ho do...I see!

February 11, 2009

I was hanging out with my host mom at the finish line of the track. As we waited for our events to begin we chatted. She turns to me and asks, “In your country, is it common for a husband to take a girlfriend?”

C: “Uhm, no. People cheat on their spouses but it’s not a cultural norm- not something to be expected. If you did it, you’d be trying to hide it. It’s something to be ashamed of, breaking your marriage vows.”

HM: “That woman over there in the red shirt is the girlfriend of Mrs. Jackson’s husband. They have two kids together and one of them is here in the 1st grade.”

C: “No way!” I said as I turned to look and saw that all the girlfriend and wife and the small group of spectators were all chatting together.

HM: “Yes, men here will openly take a girlfriend. I blame the men. A woman would never approach a man and try to start a relationship with him. He always approaches her. And if he tells her to it is okay to call him, then she will. If he tells her not to call because he is with his wife, then she won’t. If the wife acts jealous then people talk badly about her and say that she should be ashamed of herself.”

C: “Seriously? If this was America and the wife and girlfriend would not be hanging out together. There would be a fight. People’s friends would not accept the girlfriend. The man would not openly flaunt this.”

HM: “In America if the wife acts jealous then maybe it means that she loves her man. Here she must just live with the situation.”

Aaaaaaah, now I see. That’s one of the main reasons these women are so wary of outside females. Their husbands may very well be attracted and pursue these new ladies with little respect for their wives. They are circling the wagons, and won’t let me in. But what they don’t know is, I have absolutely no interest in any of their men. I won’t even expand on that, I’ll just say that I have no desire to stay in Namibia and will not be getting into a romantic relationship with anyone. No exceptions.