Sunday, December 14, 2008

For Real? An Aeroplane?

December 11, 2008
SMS to me…
Sarah: I keep forgetting! Tell me what you think- flight from Nam to Durban on 15th or from Durban to Nam on January 4th?

Me: Exsqueeze me??! Did you say flight?

Sarah: My parents want to give us plane tickets as a Christmas gift- either going or coming back.

Me: Oh wow! Tell them God bless them for helping us. Parents rock.
Sarah: Yeah I’m supposed to sing you guys a song from them later 

* We were going to take the bus from Windhoek to Durban and back. It’s about a 24 hour ride, not including all the things that are bound to delay us along the way.

Never Tear Us Apart

December 7, 2008
BriAnne is going home for Christmas. I’m totally jealous. Also I can’t believe we aren’t traveling together. We’re going to be apart for about 5 weeks. We’ve never gone that long without seeing each other. I can’t even think about it.

Bri: Ahoy, chillin at the airport, you?

Me: Got your SMSes about the snoring roomie last night- totally knocked out though. Hope you got some sleep. Now I’m going to make some breakfast for lunch ;). How was getting to the airport?

Bri: Ooh yumm, pancakes? The snoring was Unbelievable, the other 2 girls in dorm were awake all night too. Ridic. Airport trip good- about ½ way though the driver gets a call to go BACK to Windhoek to pick someone else up- I said no effin way. Can you imagine?

Me: Wow, snoring was that bad?? That’s ridic, no way they went back! Hate this place. You’re getting out though. What time’s the flight?

Bri: Nothing is ever easy here. Fly at 1:45

An hour later…
Bri: Ok, on the plane. Will email you tomorrow! (Or maybe in like 5 hours still on the tarmac because in true Nam style maybe we’ll be delayed  aye). Bye sweets! Love you miss you!

Me: Wow, making progress…step by step and be flexible baby ;). Ur gonna have a great time! Love you miss you honey.

*BriAnne of course emailed me on her first day home, as we had been apart for hours already. Family was good. America was excessive though convenient. I will not have to worry about her not returning to Nam.

Nam Love

December 5, 2008
Love is…a new Osprey travel pack waiting for you when you come from the village and finally get to town.

Ur Not Serious...Oh But I am

December 4, 2008
We officially closed school today, tomorrow I will exit the village with the transport and be gone for the entire 6 week break! I’ve got my bags all packed. I’m even going to attend the End of Year party for the staff. (A note about me, I hate being stuck. I hate even feeling stuck. Even thinking about thinking about being stuck makes me uncomfortable.) I asked the secretary, since the party is at her family’s homestead, what time we’d go to the party. She said that we would leave at 4 and return around 7. I breathed a sigh of relief. It is not going to be one of those all day long affairs. I won’t feel stuck even though the party’s not in my village and I can’t drive and will have no choice in the matter. I’m looking forward to going and meeting her family.
At 4 we pile into the truck, with four people in the middle seat and things stacked high in the back. A 30 minute ride expands into an hour ride with all the turns (stops) we make. Finally we’re here! The first ones. Ms. Tjituka’s family is so nice. I’m offered a seat under the tree with the ladies. I look around and see that there is no food cooking. That’s strange. After what feels like 30 minutes but is probably only 10, the sisters begin cleaning the pots and the men begin slaughtering a sheep. They skin the sheep. They cut the sheep. Season it. Finally they begin to cook it. This is going to be a long day.
It was long 9 hours long from door to door. We didn’t leave there until midnight. Highlights of the event- the official opening with a prayer and a few words was at about 8pm. We ate- grilled sheep and macaroni salad. There was some dancing. There was lots of sitting around. The ladies did not really talk to me, even though I was sitting with them but then I moved because I didn’t really want to sit with them anyway. The younger sisters were cool. Finally we leave. I’m the second to be dropped at my door. I set my alarm for 4 since the transport leaves at 5:30.
I awoke with a start at 5:55. My mind is hazy. I throw open the door to the house. The village is empty. I hear no cars on the road. I put clothes on and run to the neighbor’s house. Please call the other transport guy and see if he is coming. He is. HALLELUJAH. I go back to my house and quickly gather everything even though I probably have about 30 minutes. I cannot miss this car. The gas on my fridge is out, I don’t really have enough food, everyone else is gone, and I imagine that the water will probably go off while I’m here too. The transport comes but I am still in a daze thinking of what could have been and how I am never going to another local party again. We hit the tar road. We’re in Gobabis and it only took 4 hours. My heart is pounding.
Bri sends an SMS. She is stuck just outside of town with a flat tire. This is our life.

It Could Go Either Way

Me: I want a chocolate éclair. Last week I wanted salt now I crave sugar. What gives?

Claire: Maybe you’re pregnant. You and Rich can go to parenting class together.

ME: LOL! If I was preggers it’d be a miracle…well, it is that time of year, ha ha. Speaking of Rich, he called over the weekend and was normal which is always funny too.

Claire: What a nut.

*Rich is a mutual friend who has a baby on the way, and everything about him makes us laugh.

Same Text Message Sent…
Me: I want a chocolate éclair. Last week I wanted salt now I crave sugar. What gives?

Bri: Oooh yuummmm, sounds good. I think you’re body is saying it’s ready for the sweet treats of VACATION! ME, I just want out. Am ready, ready, ready.

Me: Yes, I’m ready too! I got vacay food on my mind no doubt.

See Ya!

November 28, 2008
Last Day of School for the kids:

Bri: Hey dear, hope you are having a good day. I personally could use a big strong drink!

Me: I’m okay, thought I would cry but didn’t…probably later though. Drink in Gobabis on Friday? See you there.

Bri: Because you will miss Grade 7 or because we still have 1 week left?  They made it easy for me not to cry. Or maybe I’m just a jerk? Drinks in Gobabis sounds GREAT! More when SMS is free.

Thankful Though Reception Is Bad

November 27, 2008
Me: I’m thankful that such a pretty, funny, person is my gal pal (lol..I’ve never used that phrase before)

Bri: Oh my, I’m blushing, thanks! I feel thankful to have such a kick ass friend- you really do keep me sane and smiling…no small feat these days. Now don’t let * some text missing.

Me: “Now don’t let”…I got the 1st half

Bri: Oh my, I’m blushing, thanks! I feel thankful to have such a kick ass friend- you really do keep me sane and smiling…no small feat these days. Now don’t let * some text missing.

Me: “Now don’t let”…I got the 1st half…is it the rain ruining our reception?

Bri: Possibly, I’ll send again.

Me: Nope, not this time either but thanks honey.

Bri: Now don’t let this go to your head but you are beauteous and fun and strong. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime!

Me: I guess God knew what he was doing when he put us together…better than we knew.

Bri: Indeed, I’d be lost out here without you.

Me: Yeah me too %-)

Get Me Outta Here

November 18, 2008
Me: So it’s raining and the electricity went out. We lit candles… Wow, I can almost fool myself that life is normal, then I lay on my foam mattress and realize that I’m not in Kansas anymore…or any of the 50 United States.

Bri: Aye bandito, roger that Toto. Is it Friday yet? Hell, is it December 5th yet?
(Dec 5- last day in the village)

Me: I’m willing Friday to come quick! I may even try to get out on Thursday so I can go to the doctor.

Bri: Yeah, how are you?

Me: Eeeh, it fluctuates- today it was really annoying. I’ve got to get this taken care of cuz today there seemed to be an echo effect…ot was that just the sound of my voice bouncing off their hard little heads?

Bri: Lol, that is hilarious and sad and true…Yeah, definitely take care of you!

Marry Me

November 17, 2008

Bri: Before you become a wife you must show that you can milk a cow.

Me: Well you’ve already tried your hand at milking. If you keep at it, by the time one of the drunks at the shebeen can slur ‘will you marry me’ in English, you’ll be a pro and great wife material!

Ohashi

November 16, 2008
After School:
It’s hot. My head is stuffy. My ear is clogged. I forgot my work at school. I’m feeling too lazy to walk 20 yards and get them. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

After Study:
It’s hot and school’s almost out. The kids have been so difficult to deal with but today will be my last bit of quality time with Grade 7 so I’m going to push through it…
First I show the postcards of Singapore that Kimmie sent. The learners are intrigued by the city-state and all the water surrounding it. Then I pass out the chopsticks that she sent (cuz she rocks). They loved it! Once we get the hang of it I pass out the fruit snacks that amber sent (I love those things but decided to share with the kids). They have so much fun using the chopsticks. While they’re being cute and well-behaved I decide to pull out the camera and the room goes wild. “Don’t make me put this away. Sit down at your desk and I will come to each of you. Calm down.”
They were so cute posing with chopsticks in hand. Of course this lead to the taking of other kinds of pics and can I push the button and I want to look at the screen and take me doing this and take me doing that…oh Grade 7.

Livin Free

November 14, 2008
A new MTC airtime promotion called ‘Free Money’ has people all over Namibia calling their friends on their cell phones and talking to them. It eats up your prepaid minutes so it’s a bit of a luxury and something we PCVs don’t do so much. We send each other missed calls. Call and hang up before the person answers as a way of saying hi. Sometimes the person picks up and then you're pissed cuz that just got you like N$3.
I decided to call my dear Amanda and shake up her day.

Amanda: Hahahaha it’s like we were in America for a sec! Friends calling friends just to say hi! Haha thanks lady! Hooray free money! Have a great day!

2 for 1

November 11, 2008
I think 2 volunteers should live together at every site. How awesome would it be to be able to talk to someone who understood you everyday. I’d be so much more productive as I wouldn’t need so much recovery time after a long hard day, also known as everyday. If we had each other to bounce ideas off of I wouldn’t have to bang my head against the wall. I’d have a partner to help shoulder the burdens and I wouldn’t have to be the only weirdo at school, at home, in the village. I wouldn’t have to hold everything in until seeing my sanity those 2 times in a month. Imagine that.
...2 are better than 1, if 1 falls down, his friend can help him up.

Why Why Why

November 9, 2008
It’s the end of the school year. We’ve got a week of review then exams for about 2 weeks. The learners have been unbearable. Bri sent me a text telling me about how unmanageable hers were being- we decided it must be something in the sour milk. It feels like they’ve regressed back to first term- I’m bombarded with “borrow me”s instead of “may I borrow”. The lack of interest in doing their best work and the cramming instead of studying makes me (and other volunteer educators) wonder what’s the point. Let’s just start exams now and get it over with, the extra time is just dragging out the inevitable. I’m finding now that even some of the more clever learners are only doing the minimum required as well. Instead of excitement for break and adrenaline for this last bit of learning this time is just excruciating for all involved. It makes a volunteer think ‘why am I here’ and ‘what have I done’ as we stare into the face of the education issue and struggle to see the improvements made in this last year. (Bri and I were lamenting all of this last night, so others are feeling it too.)
As I was laying in bed, before blowing out my lantern, I picked up ‘Praying the Names of Jesus’ and pondered his role as servant and through the page the Lord spoke to my heart loud and clear…
"It didn't matter whether God gave me a large role or a tiny one; I could still have impact if I could learn to do one thing- to love people in whatever circumstance I find myself. Why? Because love lasts. Because love never fails...Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes. Love never gives up. God is love. Love, in fact is the hardest, most powerful thing in the world. Whether driving a child to school, leading a church, cleaning a bathroom, heading up a multinational corporation, or washing feet, love is the secret to making a lasting impact."

Go on and marinate on that for a minute...or selah as they say.

Read Or Eat Glass

October 30, 2008
Bri: Grade 6’s written work makes me want to eat hot coals- less painful.

Me: Hmmm hot coals…I was thinking of eating broken glass because it would double as recycling. I had them read out their work today so they can hear themselves and each other.

Bri: Smart, very enviro-minded of you. Good idea, they are so behind it feels impossible.

Me: Yep, I know. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to feel. ET ejector button or…wait, what is the alternative?

Bri: In a certain light the alternative looks like a monkey’s butt. We shall overcome…? Someday…?

Me: Somehow. At least I like monkeys…though I don’t want to be close to anything that resembles an animal’s butt.

5 Second Rule

October 30, 2008
Making tea. Stir in sugar. Put spoon on counter. Turn. Cut lemons. Turn back. Add lemon slices. Pick up spoon. Stir. Look down. What the…? Ants. There were ants on my spoon. Now there are ants in my tea. Dag. Brief thought- toss it. Yeah right, this is Republic of Tea and I’m a volunteer…in Africa. Scoop out ants. Stir in lemon. Taste. Mmmmm good.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Really? Yep.

October 23, 2008
I’ve been in the village for 5 weeks. This is waaaaaaay too long. I just need to decompress with someone who can understand me. I just need a change of scenery. Lord help me. I am hanging by a thread once again…but I’m hanging tough.

October 27, 2008
Right now BriAnne is in the transport waiting to go back to the village. She’s been sitting in it for 3 hours while they weld some parts together. It’s after 7pm. She won’t get home until at least midnight. She could come back over here to the house but it’s like you’re already in there and don’t want to get out and go through the entire getting in there process again. That’s why transport can be such an ordeal.

Nick's Dream

October 19, 2008
Nick: So I had a dream where you and I teamed up to fight the drug trade of Detroit. Think Boondock Saints. Your favorite was the riot shotgun, you wielded it like a pro.

Me: Nice! Now if only Nam was that easy.

Nick: Yeah, if only…

Childcare At Its Best

October 16, 2008
I’m in class with grade 6 as they are doing some work on their own (we hope). The silence is broken by a child’s cry from next door. The teacher probably has a stick and smacked the 4th grader on the hand with it for being naughty.
“Is that what you want me to do to you?” Choruses of yes called out.
“Are you sure? Remember the time I sent you to the principal for not doing your homework? You weren’t very happy after that.” After taking a census of grade 6 only 1 child wants to get whacked but she seemed to feel silly when she saw that she was the only one raising her hand.
Then another cry came from next door- dag, it hasn’t even been 10 minutes. At this point the bell rang (it’s rung by hand) and it was time to rotate classes. As I’m standing in the doorway and the students are moving across the yard there’s still wailing coming from grade 4 and the kids are craning their necks to see. I pop into the principal’s office and quickly tell him what’s going on. He says he’ll bring it up with the teacher later. I replied, “Sure just hope the kid doesn’t get beaten to death before that. This is illegal in this country.” Then I went back to the learners lined up in front of my room. As they were filing in I saw the grade 4 teacher walking across the yard to the principal’s office.

October 17, 2008
I kept a kid after school today. He may have missed lunch at the hostel because of it. I really wasn’t sure what to do about that so when I got home I asked my host mom what she would do.
“Oh I never do that because I just don’t like it.”
Yes, making him go hungry was not the intention. Now that it has possibly happened, what do you think I should do?
“Well I think we’re going to look at crime and punishment at Monday’s staff meeting.”
Okay, but what about right now?
She started telling about some other incident and punishments that had nothing to do with what I’d asked. As I walked away I thought, wait a minute, last year this time when I was visiting for the 1st time I saw you lock a kid in your classroom either at tea break or lunch break.
It’s a banner week for childcare here at O%&^*@.

Lunch Is Served

October 15, 2008

I was standing in my classroom waiting for grade 6 to solve a math problem. I looked out the window and saw a man carrying a huge leg of cow across the way and to my way. Yuck. It was naked cow too, not covered in any way. When I went home it was laying in the mouth of the deep freezer waiting to be hacked up. I decided to snap a picture of this interesting sight.
Later in the day my host mom asked me why I took a pic and why I didn’t ask her before taking it. I explained that you just don’t see sights like that in big cities. Then wondered should I have asked you first? Yes, because it is my food that I will eat and you are complaining about it.
(Actually I didn’t complain about it. I thought it was funny. My complaint is the stomach churning smell of the meat being boiled and the blood curdling into a dark sauce. And if I ever used that nasty dish rag for anything my complaint would be that is was used to wipe down the freezer where the carcass had been, then replaced on the sink for further use.)

Doesn't It All Go Down The Same Way?

October 14, 2008

One thing I appreciated about a developing country was that people seem to use what they have. Things are multi-purpose and we don’t really buy things that only accomplish one task. We drink tea every day but don’t have a kettle. You just boil water in a small pot.
We only have a shower stall so we boil our bath water and pour it into a plastic tub. The same tub is used to mop the floor and hold water for any other cleaning (car, windows, etc). That one disturbed me at first but I just closed my eyes and reminded myself that the water is boiling and I can clean it out first.
There are other multi-uses that I think are a bit gross. Like using the same dish rag to dry the dishes, wipe the counter clean, and wipe spills off the floor. There’s also the 25 liter jug that used to hold cooking oil but now holds drinking water.
So I thought a sink was a sink- a place where one could wash their hands and other things. But I just brushed my teeth over an empty kitchen sink and my host mom freaked out. “Did you just spit in the sink??” Yes. “We use that for dishes, don’t do that.” The sink is empty, it’s all going down the drain, we put those dishes in our mouths, and someone is in the bathroom.
She was just so disturbed. This from a woman who washes clothes, her body, and her teeth in the bathroom sink. And I know it’s soap but I think it’s gross that they use the same soap in the shower to wash their bodies and them put it on the sink to wash their hands. Can soap carry infections?

Integrating?

September 28, 2008

Me: I could be at home awaiting the birth of my niece, helping my sis and best bud plan their weddings and not wonder if I’ll be able to attend. Instead I’m here with kids who didn’t do their homework and who still haven’t memorized their times tables. Why am I here again?

G: Catherine…I just got the top half of your message. Am I getting ready to be incredibly sad because you’re going home? I didn’t get all of it, sorry.

(resend 1st sms)

G: I just did this thing with times tables. I made them memorize 2 sets a week and they built a paper banana split and each time they get the entire set correct they can add another piece to their split. It’s worked pretty well. Just a thought.
But yes, some days are really bad, some days good. Would it help if you left site more? I need to just get outta dodge at least twice a month, and I’m okay with it. Doing a school play right now which has been super fun.

Me: Times tables sounds interesting…they can make clock and every time they get a set correct they’ll more it forward five minutes. At the end whatever time they have on their clock can be used to play games. They love Connect Four and I may even pull out Operation.
Thanks G…you’ve got some good stuff yourself.

G: Hope it works. Good call with the clocks. Whoa, nice. I should let mine have game time. When do you all play?

Me: They choose a day after school and it’s an hour. Last time it was for those who got the highest class mark and exam mark and most improved class mark. They loved it. I want to reward them for academics. No more rewards for behavior, they’re supposed to be good anyway.

G: Ok, so it’s only a couple of kids at game time then? That sounds good. I am OVER my discipline problems right now. Need a 4 day weekend.

Me: Yes, 4 days should be the rule! Secondary project- lobby Parliament.

G: Word to that. I think PC should also hire a kid actor and he can pose as ‘the new kid’ at each school for a week, and we can fake whoop him so the other learners know that it’s a possibility .

Me: LOL! 2 boys (used to be 3) in grade 6 talk too much. At wits’ end this week I made them hold the chair over their heads for 10 minutes- added 5 more to one because he said something. We’ll see how next week is.

G: Ohh, maybe their arms will be sore and remind them to shut the ef up. I am totally ok with that. It is the only thing that works sometimes. Oh man, I sound Namibian.

Me: Hey, integration. Isn’t that like goal #3? We did it!

G: Ha. Yay! Now only a few more things to go…

Dunno What To Say

September 27, 2008

My host family is at a funeral for their uncle today. This is about the 5th family funeral they’ve had since I came here in January, not to mention the other numerous funerals they’ve attended of other loved ones and acquaintances. I don’t even know what to say anymore when they tell me of a family member who has passed. “I’m sorry” seems so inadequate and it does not express the depth of what I feel at another absent loved one.
Funerals here are no small affair. They last from morning until night with mourners gathered at the family homestead. Women are dressed in their finest traditional clothes and sing a welcome to all who arrive. Some will go into the mourning house w/the casket and weep. People congregate outside under the trees- men with men and women with women. That is also where they will eat the meat and porridge that is served. It will be late when they finally begin to travel home.
Death is such a part of life that it is difficult to be surprised when someone says they are going to a funeral. Even now, I don’t know what to say.

Counting On My Fingers

September 23, 2008

The national exam for the 7th graders is coming up, it’s worth 50% of their final grade and the principal told me that if their scores don’t meet the projected targets there may be something wrong going on in my class. But wait, all the burden cannot fall on me. There were many teachers for many years before me who may have “covered” the syllabus but did not stop to consider whether or not the learners had absorbed it. Now you want to pin all of your hopes on me because I’m supposed to be the American miracle worker? I’m doing my best but this world still does not make sense to me. The things that have gotten through to them are odd little phrases that pop up in essays or words that have been memorized and astound me when coming out of their mouths.
Still in this 3rd term I thought they’d have learned more. I’m giving my life here so I’m trying to make it count. I’ve been measuring success in grades because that seems to be what everyone else is counting. Though the way things are moving, that isn’t going to be enough. I also have to count that my host mom now eats more vegetables and loves spinach. I have to count that instead of saying “give me”, children have begun to ask “may I”. As they say, sometimes it’s just our being here that helps.

It's Cuz I'm Here

September 15, 2008

There are little tan flecks of something floating in my drinking water. Is it dirty? Not in Africa.

Monday, September 22, 2008

September 18, 2008
I was talking to my host mom about my spending the weekend in town. It is the one weekend in the month when I get to hang out with my friends. I told her it is for my mental health. “Are you going to the doctor,” she asked. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
September 12, 2008
SMS conversation between me and Bri:

B: I just read a New Era article that said Namibia thinks it should try to export it’s meat and omaere (sour milk)…um right.

Me: LOL…meat, “milk” and cow hats

B: But it’s their culture so we shouldn’t mock.

Me: Seriously, Hereroism is going to sweep the globe!

B: Via donkey cart baby.
September 9, 2008
I was in the kitchen making a lovely salad, including avocado. My host mom comes in and sees what I’m having. “You like all the stuff that nobody likes”, she said. LOL! All I could think was “look who’s talking”.
Just yesterday there were bloody cow parts sitting on the kitchen counter- liver and lungs and all manner of intestinal things. They were put into a pot and stewed in their own blood which blackened as it cooked. The smell was stomach turning. Then I had a thought- I wonder if the things that smell good to me actually smell nasty to them.
September 7, 2008
Have I really only been back in the village for a week? It feels longer than that…it’s just the abstractness of time here I suppose. This will be the first real week of school and I’m ready. Education is a (slow) process. Hopefully we’ll have some fun and the kids will do well. This is term 3! I feel amazed to have made it this far and overjoyed to be so close to the ½ way mark. Every day is one step closer to Mozambique. I can’t wait to lounge on a beach and swim in tropical waters while eating fresh fruit and seafood. Every day is one step closer to home. I can’t express have wonderful it will be to see my family and spend my next birthday at home.
August 21, 2008
We went into the cutest little Italian bakery today- Pane Fresca. It was so so so so good! The croissants were freshly made and stuffed with chocolate. The cappuccino was excellent. I also had a sandwich on ciabatta with gorgonzola- oh how I love stinky cheese. Amazing. What I wouldn’t give to have one of these in Gobabis- not in my village because then my wallet would be skinny and my tummy would be fat. If I ever come back to Swakop, this will be my first stop.
August 20, 2008
Mario is a character! If you’re ever in Swakop call him for a good time. He was our paragliding instructor today.
First he gave us this huge spiel about how we might not even get off the ground today and after he’d made us uncertain if we wanted to do it anymore, he tells us that our chances for flying are good. Uhm, okay.
We drove out to the dunes in his VW mini-bus and set up our camp right across from the ocean. The gliders are huge and nylon and heavy. BriAnne and I took turns carrying one up the dune. Then you lay it out, take the reigns in your hands, run forward and kind of jump into the wind, which lifts you up and up and before you know it you are 40 meters off the ground and kicking your legs in the air. It was so awesome. Mario is down below yelling directions at you, after about a minute you land on the sand. I sat down with the glider still open behind me. Unfortunately the wind picked up and dragged me on my back across the bottom of the dune. Mario had to come and get me so I didn’t get blown away.
He said our flying was good- we’re naturals, but I bet he says that to all the girls. Actually, I could really get into this paragliding thing.
August 19, 2008
We’re finally in Swakopmund! It is so nice to be on the coast and see some actual water. It’s a popular vacation spot in Namibia- Brangelina had their baby here, I’m not really sure why. It’s an interesting place. The architecture seems to be very German yet brightly colored. You’ve got desert and ocean right next to each other. It’s Namibian good.

Oh The Leaners

August 5, 2008
An SMS conversation between myself and a PCV we will call “L”.

L: So…told a learner to get the f&%k out of my classroom this evening. I hate how they waltz in like they own the place and I’m not even there. I need a break.

Me: Oh man! Lol…break is coming sweetheart. I’m still under the weather after PC med- big surprise- so I just do my duty then camp out in my flat. They are children- they want attention and a reaction. Dunno if it’s better to give it so they know you care or remain cool so they learn that’s not the way?

L: Yeah my problem is that my flat is not a haven- no where I can go. I’m going to talk to PC. At least the kid was Grade 8, he’s probably 15. That’s always my question- how to deal with them? My mom recommended thinking about your reaction beforehand so you’re ready. But I don’t even know what I want my reaction to be!

Me: You gotta have some where to go. Wow, an 8th grade who’s only 15?

L: Actually I checked my register. He’s 14. I hardly believe it because his marks and attitude are so bad.

Me: Attitude’s bad because his marks are bad?

L: Or vice versa. He’s actually good natured just likes to be funny. Then again my smartest Grade 8 is 17.

Me: 17, they’ve had a chance to absorb it all. Best mark in Grade 6 is a kid who failed it last year.
August 4, 2008
After a week of luxury (2 movies, ate in restaurants, internet and hot showers) it’s time to go back to the village. Transportation is always a major ordeal and you have to brace yourself for it. It’s good having a partner for this because I can easily talk myself out of it. It’s not the being in the village, it’s the getting there that I dread.
This time we have a plan: go to the grocery store, then pick up our packages down the street at the post office. From there we’ll take a taxi to the transport depot (called the hike point) and leave our things with the Venture (boxy SUV kind of vehicle) and go to the other grocery store. We’ll drop that stuff off and finally go have lunch before coming back for the long wait.
It worked! Praise God it didn’t seem as bad as usual. We also got to sit in the middle seat instead of the back seat (trust me, it’s bad) and with only 3 people instead of 4 (and not 2 huge people so that I still got squished). But this old dude has insisted that I put on my seat belt- a shocker here but I can dig it and I’m adamant about it in The States. Now he keeps checking my seat belt at every stop. Mind you I haven’t moved an inch. Is he drunk? Or does he just want to talk to us and doesn’t know what else to say?
Alright I’m home in one piece! From waiting to leave until getting here it’s only been 6 hours. What a glorious day…no, seriously.

Batman

July 31, 2008

I saw “Dark Knight”- in Namibia! I was so amazed and excited it was playing while I was in the capital. Christian Bale was cute as ever, though I still hate his Batman voice. Heath Ledger portrayed a sick and twisted Joker very well…I can see how it all went down hill for him.

Hanging On By A Thread

July 23, 2008

“Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name”
Wow, a place with water in the riverbeds. Nice.

“Blessed be your name when I’m found in the desert place. Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name…”
I am definitely in the desert place. This is the wilderness indeed.

“Blessed be your name when the sun’s shining down on me, when the world’s all as it should be, blessed be your name.”
Namibia does have about 300 sunny days a year. I do like that. Though there’s no shade- not a cloud in the sky and no tree to rest under.

“Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering, when there’s pain in the offering, blessed be your name.”
(Bitter laugh) Oh the road is actually named suffering. This is the most painful offering I think I’ve ever given.

“Every blessing you pour out I’ll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord still I will say blessed be the name of the Lord blessed be your glorious name.”
Through the tiny joys Lord you have encouraged me, for that Lord, I praise you. Still this life feels so heavy, Lord I know the only reason it hasn’t fallen on me is that it’s your strength that is carrying it. Blessed be your name.

No Man's Land

July 12, 2008
I live on the equivalent of a Native American reservation (actually my friend said her grandmother doesn’t like to be called that so we settled on The 1st People Who Lived in the Land That’s Now America But Whose Land Was Stolen By White People).
The Herero people were massacred and driven from the desirable land. As restitution later people were given plots out here…in the desert. But really, Namibia was one of the last African countries to be colonized- even the Europeans didn’t want it.
So I’m in the No Man’s Land of No Man’s Land.

You Talk Too Much

July 1, 2008

Three boys in Grade 6 can’t seem to keep their mouths shut- they need so much attention. During afternoon study today I asked them to try to be quiet for 5 minutes…they couldn’t do it, after that though they were pretty quiet. Suddenly they asked why they should be quiet anyway. “Do you want to know what the Bible says about people who talk too much?” Yeah they said. “The Bible says that people who talk too much talk…ovipuropuro (nonsense).” The whole room erupted in laughter. I didn’t even know I was going to say it- the Otjiherero just fell out of my mouth.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I Conquered The Village...Not The Other Way Around

June 29, 2008

I have conquered the village. The village has not conquered me.
We have a well from which our water is extracted. It is piped into a huge tank. There is a pump/tank for the school and a different set for the surrounding community. At the school every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday our tank is filled, though there is no meter gauge when the tank is getting low.
So I’ve told you before how the water has gone off a couple or times over the weekends. It’s not usual so the first time it happened was a huge shock. Since then every Friday afternoon I fill 2 large pots with water just in case. I also have a 25L jug for emergencies. I always take a bath on Friday night and begin the necessary laundry (if the water goes off, it’s usually on Saturday morning).
It’s Sunday. By 11am I had (hand- as all “laundry” doing is) washed all the sheets, boiled rice, prepared meals for the week, and washed most of the dishes when it happened. The water went off. I didn’t panic. I didn’t get annoyed. I looked at my water pots and smiled. I thought of all my weekend accomplishments and felt a small surge of pride. I was productive and prepared.
CSR: 1
Village: 0 (this time)

Hanging By A Thread

June 27, 2008

Me and Bri: An SMS Conversation
(all abbreviations have been spelled out for your sake)

Me: It was an alright week. There was some homesickness then consideration of going home in August. Interesting chats with host mom. Classes alright. Lots of quiet time and prayer this week. Optimistic.
Bri: You really are using positive coping. I’m impressed. Unless that was code for ‘spent the week drinking. Broke down and ate an earthworm, I hate this place.’ Really though, glad you connected with host mom and took some time for yourself.

Me: Oh girl, I’m hanging on by a thread…wish I brought that 6-pk but better that I didn’t. Find relief in escapism…just today talking about Mozambique in August. It’s all good when I’m in my room chillin’ with Jesus…when I get to class with those little buggers I’m just tryin’ to recall Christ at all %-). Sorry, didn’t mean to sound zen or anything in last sms.

Bri: Hey I could use some zen myself, no apologies. And yeah, I can relate to that for sure. Best part of the day is 5pm when I shut my door for the day, light a candle (electricity still out) and read til bedtime. And I look at my calendar alot. Alot.

Me: We MUST get some leads on what to do for August break next weekend…something to dream about under your flickering flames .

Bri: Sounds like a plan. I’m looking forward to looking forward.

Delirious

June 22, 2008

I want to go home. My mind seized on this Friday and hasn’t let go since. I love the family pics my sister sent and I love hearing stories about my little munchkins. But I hate that they’re growing up without me. I have an intense longing to see them (“want” doesn’t begin to describe what I feel). My little burrito is now a super walking burrito and will be talking before I know it…and I won’t be there. Plus, this life is rough. I don’t love this country (probably never will). I don’t love this culture.
One of the things giving me comfort right now is cooking. On the weekends at least 2 of my 3 meals are a production. Yesterday for breakfast I had bacon, eggs, and hashed browns. Lunch was tuna cakes. This morning it was French toast and fried corn. Lunch ended up being a grilled cheese and salad but I prepared the spinach pizza topping for later in the week. I also rolled out some homemade tortillas and chopped veggies for tacos.
I feel like I spent a lot on groceries this month but right now it’s my sanity.

(;_;)

June 15, 2008

Father’s day. Sunday morning. Broad daylight. Three of us talking while we walked over the bridge. Two teenage boys came up the slope from the parking lot at the side of the bridge just where the railing ends. We weren’t paying attention to them. Suddenly they’re too close to my friend. Then she’s saying no. All I know is that I have to get them away from my girl. I don’t even know what is happening yet but I’m pushing them off of her. They snatch her bag and run across the street and disappear into a gulley.
In shock we go to tell the mall security guards, the ones standing around chatting instead of checking the perimeter (I’m sure this wasn’t the first time this spot had been the scene of a crime). They must have been board as the mall was just opening and they had nothing better to do so they went to look for them. They too disappeared into the gulley. We watched and waited. We didn’t think much would happen.
Suddenly a guard came running at full speed from the mall. We looked up at the bridge and a guy with a gun was nudging the two young ruffians forward. Our mouths dropped open. As they walked past us we froze. Urged to follow by the security guards we did at a distance. All of the excitement gathered a crowd who were tagging along.
There were too many people stuffed into a mall security office, including the two boys. Suddenly they looked so young. One of them I was certain about the other I could not positively ID. But when we were adamant about his guilt he turned his own buddy in.
Security smacked them around a bit. Out came her cell phone. They smacked them around a bit more. Out came the SIM card. They smacked them around some more and lead them back to the gulley. Her bag, wallet, glasses, and other odds and ends resurfaced.
Did we have to fill out any paperwork? No. Can we go? Yes. What will happen to them? We will call the police.

* Please excuse me if I spoke to you on the phone that day, it was a rough day- Ben, Jam, O, Booda.

How Far Will You Go?

June 13, 2008

I traveled five hours to Windhoek today. We drove. Just for the weekend to see friends, eat some Indian food, and see a movie. Crazy? Not when you live in Namibia.

Question Box

June 12, 2008

My kids are so funny! I put a box on the reading table- the question box. They can ask any question and they have to put their grade on the paper too. Oh they’ve been begging me to answer questions all week. Some of the things that have been on their minds (all questions have been changed to actually make sense):

* Is this the first time you plaited your hair? Is it all yours?
No, this is not the first time. I braid my hair every summer in America. Yes it’s all mine.

* Do people in North America eat earthworms?
I don’t know about Mexico or Canada but in the United States well…I don’t think so. (some people in Namibia eat them)

* Why haven’t we been getting stars on the star chart?
Have you been good lately? I asked you last week if you thought you deserved stars. You said no and I agreed with you. When you’re good you’ll get stars.

* We want to go to Chicago.
Shoot, I want to go to Chicago too. And that’s not a question.

* Will you come after study to our homestead?
Yes I will (screams of delight). I would like to see a Namibian homestead. I will come on the weekend and help you do chores. (shouts of disbelief and cries of yes!)

Group Support

June 11, 2008

Right now the people who understand me the most are the ones I met 8 months ago. My regular support network isn’t really giving me the support I need. It’s okay, I can’t expect them to understand a life that I live yet is still unimaginable even to me.
I’m coming to terms with this.

Another POV

June 8, 2008

I get it now. I understand now how teachers often ET (early termination). I see how teachers teach to the more clever kids and the slower learners get left behind. I know now how people become okay with missing school, lowering their work ethic and other standards. I understand now how teachers get immersed in a secondary project just to see some tangible results of their volunteer effort.
The kids don’t care. They’ll probably end up being farmers anyway so they go to school just because they have to. Their parents don’t encourage them because so many of them are uneducated and don’t know the advantages education can provide. Teachers rarely have time to check their individual work so why do more than the bare minimum? They only need 20% to pass so what’s the point in pushing themselves to do more than that?
Now I know what the volunteer at our training meant when he said, “It’s like triage.” At that point I couldn’t imagine leaving a learner behind. I can now. I’m giving my life to these kids but if they don’t make use of it how much more can I give to the complacent?

Truth or Dare

June 7, 2008

Truth or dare?
Truth.
Do you have any idea what my life is really like?
No.
Well try to imagine seeing your friends once ever 2 weeks. Easy? How about if all you can do to communicate with them is sms (ur thumb gets tired or what you’re trying to convey is just too big for that little screen to handle) and leave messages on Facebook? These are the ones who are closest to you and understand you most.
I dare you to not meet your friends for coffee, dinner, a movie, or even call them for 2 weeks.

Try to imagine only going grocery shopping once per month. You’re shopping for one month in advance…don’t forget anything. You’ll have fresh fruits and veggies for about a week then the rest of the month is full of frozen spinach and mixed vegetables. Now that you’re done it, haul all your stuff to the transport spot and then sit with it while you wait for them to leave 2 hours later than they are supposed to. Bring a book. Also, prepare yourself to be squished for a 2.5 hour ride that’ll take 4 hours. I dare you.

Try to imagine sand under your feet all the time; paved road once a month.
Try to imagine sunset at 5 pm and kerosene lanterns there after; electricity and a definite place to charge your cell phone once a month.
Try to imagine boiling your bath water on the stove, pouring it into a plastic tub, and then crouching over it to bathe; hot shower once a month.
Try to imagine not checking your email daily, or weekly, and not being able to view or upload pics; internet once a month.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Just Measuring

Measuring cups, rolling pin, non-stick skillet...seem like every day items don't they? Then why the hack can't I seem to find them in my shopping town?
Do I seriously have to trek 5 hours (yes, I live 5 hours if one doesn't make too many unscheduled stops but this is a developing country so who bothers with schedules) to the capital city to get these items?! Maybe.
TIML.

Monday, May 26, 2008

No Gas...Not A Good Thing

I think I may be one of the only people in my village who has a stove. The only fridge may also be located in my house. Sometimes I feel terrible about that. Should I be living more like the people around me? (Can you imagine that a stove and fridge are luxuries? And so is heat in the winter...no one else has a heater, they sit around a fire) The hostel where the kids stay cooks food over a fire...for about 200 kids.
When I left my village to come to my shopping town on Friday I found out my cooking gas had just quit on me (this is not piped in- ha ha ha- we have huge gas bottles connected to the stove and fridge). I may not get more until Wednesday at the earliest. I've been thinking of waiting to go back to my village until the gas is delivered by the Ministry of Education. Am I being ridiculous? Should I just learn how to cook over a fire? But I don't have fire wood or a pot for that. This is my life.

Friday, May 23, 2008

No Agua

Readjusting to life in Namibia was unexpected. I was unable to prepare for it. But that 2nd term slump hit me hard and it's only the end of the 2nd week.
My first weekend back in the village, the water went off for the weekend. Somehow when these things happen and I'm by myself (which I am on the weekends because my host family goes to their farm) they seem so much bigger.
It would have been no big deal if I had been warned on Friday, I could have easily filled some pots with water. Instead I didn't bathe for 2 days and used water sparingly. Oh and my host dad took the containers of drinking water to refill them.
I just felt like the walls were closing in.
I took a deep breath. I prayed. I went for a run. I made it to Monday morning and running water once again.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

051108

May 11, 2008

Amanda and BriAnne just made me a birthday cake. What sweeties. I’m so blessed to have such good friends on my bday when I’m so far from home and would usually be millions of miles away eating dinner with my family. Thank you Lord for loving me.

Stuck in Gobabis

May 10, 2008

My principal left me in Gobabis, my shopping town. Transportation is one of the most difficult parts of this transition for me. I haven’t told you about it because I don’t want you to try to make me come back. You can’t even imagine it. People in Namibia have forgotten too, maybe that’s why he so nonchalantly went back to the village without me without even a phone call.
I feel let down and unsupported. Hopefully I can hitch a ride with the Ministry of Education vehicle that is going to be delivering my fridge on Wednesday. I’ve got too much stuff to take the harrowing ride with the public transport and not enough patience right now to endure a 4 hour ride for what is really a 2.5 hour trip.
I’ve had a good cry about it. I just needed a good cry actually and that was my breaking point. Coming back from Cape Town was an unexpected transition. It was almost like culture shock all over again. I’ve had to fight against my self-defense techniques and remember that this one thing cannot negate all the other great things he does- how the heck would I get cooking gas without him? And usually when he goes to town he offers to take me. I can also rant to him about my education frustrations.
I’m not sure I’m going to give him the souvenir I brought for him from CT though.
In the mean time, I’m hanging out with my friends, having laughs, and watching ‘24’ for the first time.

Please Don't Make Me Wait In Vain

May 9, 2008

An SMS or text conversation between myself and a friend in America-

USA: Things have been crazy busy at work. Sorry I haven’t written that letter. I just got my PDA phone fixed and can now text more often.

Namib: I was waiting for a letter and a package. Should I stop holding my breath?

USA: No.

Namib: I live in a village (150 ppl, 2.5 hrs away frm a paved road) and you cannot play with my emotions like that. Getting mail is amazing. It’s like…there is no US equivalent.

USA: Wow, I will send you a package in 2 weeks.

Namib: Okay, it takes 3 wks to get here, so I’ll have it in 5 weeks. Can you imagine waiting 5 weeks for something?

USA: I’ll send it next Friday so you’ll have it in 4 weeks!!! That’s my word.

May 9, 2008

May 9, 2008

I’m having a really good hair day (^_^). Sorry there’s no pic.

Letters Make Words, Words Make Sentences

May 8, 2008

I’ve decided my kids are going to learn how to read. That is my goal- it is what will make me feel like a successful volunteer. We’re going back to the beginning and starting from scratch.
It’s going to take us forever to get through ‘Charlotte’s Web’ but they will be able to read by the end of it. And actually understand what they’re reading.
I also want to figure out what works so I can leave a literacy program for the teachers who will remain after I leave.
Yep, that’s my new mission.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Happy Birthday CSR and Farewell CT

Aubergine. I love that word. Aubergine. They say that it is all about the food here and it is. The decor was simple and clean, the service was warm and friendly.



We were treated to a lovely beet amus buche w/a salmon creme and little caviar eggs that popped it in your mouth- great texture.


For the main courses we ordered the beef medallions and the Thai style ostrich. Both were so tender that we didn't need a steak knife. Butter knife anyone?


The main courses were so good that we decided to back track and have some starters. It was definitely not time for dessert. Calamari and fresh green salad.


We enjoyed it with a glass of local bubbly.


We finished off a night of laughter and great food with the chocolate fondant and rhubarb and apple tart. They were nicely paired with a local chenin blanc and port.


Hugs and kisses CT. Happy Birthday CSR.

I Wanted To Steal The Towels




So BriAnne and I spent a few gorgeous days in the Cape wine lands- excellent. Side note- we ate lunch at one of the many little cafes in Franschoek and it was amazing. It was the best feta cheese I've ever had.
Anyhow, we made our way back to The Town and stayed in the cutest guest house. The staff at The Dunkley House was so sweet, helpful, and the place itself was so cute! The bed was large and fluffy as were the pillows and the towels. Actually when I need some where to go in my mind, a "happy" place, this is it. The flat screen TV and dvd player with fairly large movie collection rocked our world.
Maybe we shouldn't have moved up step by step because The Yellow Lodge in the wine lands was just as lovely. Mebe we should have been dialing things down a knotch each time so we'd be prepared to come back to Namibia.
Oh and as we lounged on the bed watching classics like 'High Fidelity', we were snuggled under some of the coziest blankets any where!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Dear Namibia

April 25, 2008

Dear Namibia,
A post card for you from South Africa. I don't know how to say this but I've fallen in love...with Cape Town. It's not you, it's me. I've been wooed by the tar roads, internet access, fruits and veggies, water in the river beds, mountains and trees. It's nothing as shallow as clean clothes or even electricity.
You will always be my first African love. I hope you can forgive me.

We'll always have Epukiro,
CSR

There Are Tar Roads!

April 21, 2008

Cape Town has tar roads, oh my! And we're having a bit of trouble crossing them. Shoot when there's only 3 cars passing by in a day you forget to look both ways.
And there's internet...on so many corners. We can't get enough.
They've got movie theaters too...we saw 5 movies in 4 days.
There are shops and restaurants. There are choices! The meat is nice and not a mystery.
There are trees and water...things I've missed in the desert.
I'm completely overwhelmed, in a good way.

Left My Passport in El Segundo

April 17, 2008

I packed wonderfully for 2 weeks. I'm getting better and better at this. I don't take more than I can carry and thus not more than I need. I've also got room for souvenirs- sweet!
I'm in town and so excited for the adventure that lays ahead of me. BriAnne is on her way and then we're out of here tomorrow- so long Namibia!
Awwwwwww ish! I forgot my passport. Excuse me? Yes, I left my passport in the green trunk in my closet in the village 2.5 hours away down a dirt road to which there is no transport until tomorrow afternoon at about the same time our bus is scheduled to leave for Cape Town. Nice.
Where's the key? Here on my key chain. Maybe they can send the entire trunk tomorrow morning with the transport if they can get into my house before he comes. Or we could rent a car in Gobabis (yeah right) and drive back to the village.
Or we could change our bus tickets until Monday and stay in our 1 street shopping town for the weekend. That'll be fine and packed with excitement. But then we'll wear out the little things that we love to do here once/month.
What the heck are we going to do??

After much worry, the principal came home with key in time for the secretary to get in my house and search for my PC passport. It wasn't in the green trunk. It was in the pocket of a purse. Imagine if they had sent that entire footlocker to town! Yes, I actually let some one I don't know very well in to my room. What else was I going to do? They brought the passport into town and we were able to get to the capital in time. Sorry, I just forgot that South Africa is actually another country and that I'd need a passport to get through.

Praise God I remembered before we tried to get on the bus.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Language, Leaving, and Love

February 3, 2008

Having A Moment of Color

I’ve been in Namibia for 3 months. In fact my anniversary was yesterday (^_^). I am here to teach English (the national language) and I’m not getting paid. I have given my life. So why are these people sweatin’ me about speaking this language? Not English, I speak that one pretty well. If they don’t get off my back about speaking Otjiherero I might stop speaking altogether. I can and do greet people in the local language. I can say some other words too. I admit I could know more at this point but give me a break- I’ve been in training, moving around, English is the language I am supposed to speak most of the time, and I have been at my permanent site for less than a month. So why why why are these people at a neighboring site hassling me? I just came to spend a quiet weekend with Bri but every time we step outside someone is berating me for not knowing more of the local language. Then it dawns on me or rather I decided to acknowledge what it is. My friend is white and I am not. I could be a Namibian (coloured as they say) and they are expecting me to instantly pick up the language because of my skin color. They are wondering why I am letting this white girl show me up. I will not explain this or discuss it any more, right now I have no words for what I am feeling all I can say is that I am having a moment of color.


February 7, 2008

We’re still waiting for electricity. Turns out there’s a power shortage, but what’s new eh? I hear we may be getting solar energy actually. I mean Namibia does have about 300 sunny days a year, why not?
In the mean time I have a few options. I can give my phone to the principal to take when he goes to his farm or to run errands in other communities where it can be plugged in for a bit to get a few bars.
There is also the school’s generator which seems to be little more than a car engine and battery detached from the car, thankfully, and using petrol to get fired up. The electric cord is stretched through the window of the secretary’s office where most of the teachers then plug in their phones as long as she is using the car engine to power up the type writer.
When there’s no typing to be done I can always giving my phone and charger to my counterpart to have it “processed”, by which he means sending it off with a small boy to be delivered to some mysterious source of power that I have never seen. Not that there is much to my community, seriously the school is the main establishment. But I’m sure I’ll stumble upon this secret processing plant one day and probably also find most of the electronic gadgets from the surrounding houses waiting to get juiced up. TIN.


February 13, 2008

My school day begins at 6:35am when I walk across the yard to the school and unlock my classroom. I prepare for my classes- change the date on the chalk board, write vocabulary words there as well as anything else we’ll talk about in class (w/o electricity there are no worksheets or copies to hand out, it’s all written on the chalk board). Classes begin at 7 and end at 1 with a 40 minute break in the middle and no passing time between classes, they all end and begin at the same time- it’s a neat trick being in 2 places at once. At 2:45pm the bell is rung to call all the learners to afternoon study which lasts…an hour- an ample amount of time because they are only required to have assignments that take 10-15 minutes per subject. I’m assigning grades 6-7 to write sentences and paragraphs- not pages. By the way there’s no study on Wednesdays because there is athletics. And there’s no study on Fridays because the learners are going home and the teachers leave to go to their farms.
Now are there any questions as to why the kids are having trouble passing their national exams?


February 14, 2008

Grade 6 has fallen in love with “Simon Says”. Please pronounce it with a long ‘i’ and ‘o’ so that it’s “See mone”. It’s so cute the way they beg me to play it all the time. I can always motivate them by saying, “The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can play Seemone Says”. They’re favorite command is “Seemone says dance”. And they all start dancing and I burst into giggles. Now they’ve started giving each other instructions using Simon. “Seemone says sit down.” “Seemone says open your books.” It’s so cute and funny. I love it.
Today after playing a particularly tough round I high-fived the two kids still in the game (I love that the same kids always get out in the beginning). Then all the other kids crowded around for a high-five too. Precious.
Grade 6 rocks my world! And I get to have them again next year (^_^).


February 22, 2008

70, no 69…Actually it’s 70…No 69...Actually 68

This is the true story of 70 people, no 69, picked to serve as PCVs in Namibia. We began as 70 in Washington, DC then one decided it just wasn’t for her so she left us before we even got to know her face. We boarded a plane bound for South Africa as 69 PCTs.
As training began and things started to get difficult with being away from home for the holidays, discussing such heated and heavy topics as race and stereotypes, and as we learned about the jobs we’d come to do we all looked around wondering who might ET (early termination).
They say that people usually leave right after CBT (our month of staying with a host family and running a model school with local children) once they’ve had a taste of the life here (pre-teens getting drunk, the education system which is often a haven for people who don’t want to do any work, and being force-fed meat…I’m kidding they don’t force feed us but if you don’t eat meat your host mom won’t know what else to cook for you). But everyone in our group stayed after CBT. Miraculous. We felt proud.
We thought we were safe and that we’d all swear-in together at least. But alcoholism and family issues caused one young man among us to make a decision that wasn’t exactly shocking. Instead of accepting a probationary swear-in which included an agreement to not drink for 3 months, this PCV-hopeful chose to call it quits and head back to the states. From what I hear, on his last day he got drunk and went to the PC office and told the country director a thing or two. Way to show them.
We swore in and started to get settled into our sites, decorating our homes, figuring out what to cook, and getting to know the neighbors. We thought everything was fine. I mean everyone threatens to ET, it just feels good to have the choice. It seemed so out of the blue when our fellow PCV told us last week that she had decided this wasn’t the place for her and that she’d be going home. She left yesterday.
Whenever someone leaves you kind of check-in and take inventory of yourself and make sure you’re in the right place, following the signs, and learning the lessons. It shook us up a bit and we couldn’t believe that again we’d lost one.
I’ve heard that education volunteers often leave at the beginning of the second year. They come back from December vacation refreshed and ready to make a difference. When they realize that not much besides themselves have changed- the kids are still complacent, other teachers are still lazy, and they still work for a bureaucracy- they often choose to cut their losses and go back to the land of electricity, plentiful internet, and running water (actually Namibia’s water system is pretty good). We haven’t gotten that far yet; when we do I’ll let you know how my soul searching goes. In the meantime BriAnne and I want you to know that we are not going to ET.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Real Time in the Classroom

I just finished my first week of teaching real lessons in English, Math, and Life Skills to grades 5-7. It was a full week. They are getting used to me and the way I do things, plus my "funny" English (apparently I speak from my throat, but I thought everyone...). That is one of the tough things about blazing your own trail (not replacing another volunteer), it takes time for things to become routine and familiar and for people to feel comfortable enough to participate.
I've learned that we must take baby steps and repetition, repetition, repetition.

Interesting things from class this week:
*Learners were taking off their shoes to soothe the cuts on their feet. It turns out that when you play in puddles during rainy season little snakes will bite your feet but the kids do it anyway. I'm sorry but you'll have to put your shoes back on.

*Kids take dust from the chalk board and pat it on their faces and lips. A few were even licking the chalk dust off of their fingers...why? No response.

*Grade 5 is just pleased to be with me and they giggle when I address them. They love that I stand at the door to say goodbye and I'm pretty sure that they want to reach out and touch me as their little hands come dangerously close to mine when waving goodbye.

Interesting things from home:
*The doors are still open. I can hear teeth being brushed, bodies being washed, and other bathroom business being taken care of.

*I am not eating meat at the moment because the naked animal part that was in our freezer grossed me out. Every day at break my host father looks at what I am eating and comments that a day without meat is like dying.

*I really wish people had more boundaries in this country. I know it's hot and it's usual for men to walk around their yards in boxers but I really wish my host father/principal would stop walking around with his shirt off.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Week 2 At Site

January 21, 2008

There are too many open doors in my house; I need a barrier. Today I was walking past the bathroom and my little brother was relieving his bladder. He turned his head and saw me walk past and didn’t really seem to care that the door was open. I can barely pee in public; I get squirmy about people hearing me (oh how I miss the public bathrooms in Japan with their little push-button sound machines that you could use as a sound barrier) handle my business. I usually need running water for inspiration. And I certainly turn the water here because you can here everything bounce off these concrete walls and it’s driving me crazy. Even when my family here takes showers, the door is halfway open- praise God the shower curtain is closed (not that I was looking)! But I hate to hear the sound of the soap squishing and all that kind of stuff. There are some things that should be private and I think these personal hygiene moments are among them.
When I get electricity I’m going to get a fan because I need a sound barrier. I hate to move at all late at night or early in the morning- people can always hear what you’re doing. Seriously, the walls could just as easily be made of paper, though I’m thankful that they’re not (I’ve already done that).There are also bats, bugs and other creepy crawlies making noise outside at night, not to mention the farm animals. There are no sounds of the city and I really like the quiet but still I don’t want to hear it all. Please Lord I need a buffer.

January 22, 2008

I can’t find it and I’ve looked everywhere. I only looked so that I could be sure that I didn’t have it though in my heart I already knew. I could see my favorite blue jacket (you know that one I wore all summer with the fold-up sleeves, patch pockets, and a sash) hanging on the back of the chair in my classroom. That was the last time I saw it. I couldn’t have been gone more than 5 minutes but I wasn’t wearing it (as in it wasn’t a part of my outfit) so I didn’t notice it was gone. When I started looking for it this morning and it wasn’t in the front of my closet I knew immediately. I’ve gone through most of the steps of mourning- you may think that is silly but I needed that to come to terms with it- the loss of my jacket. I loved it so much I had two. It is one of the few items I planned on taking with me when I leave.
So many things have been on my mind. On one hand I’m in Namibia and they don’t have much so I shouldn’t either. I don’t want to wear anything that will be distracting. They always wear the same thing (school uniforms but some have rips, stains, or are missing buttons) so I want to wear the same thing. I’m not planning on buying anything though. Everything I brought has to last me two years and most of what is still standing will be given to my village.
On the other hand, I feel violated. I can’t leave anything anywhere or trust anyone. Now I don’t even want to leave my clothes outside on the line to dry. It’s sad when you have to watch your back like that. You can never really relax but this is where I live and I don’t want to live like that.
Someone took something from me and here I am feeling guilty for ever even having it.

January 24, 2008

I adore grade 6! The sixth graders came to my classroom because their teacher for that period wasn’t there (out here we don’t have “substitute” teachers, we have relief teachers- in the schools outside of towns the teachers live at the school because there’s no way and it’s too far to go back and forth every day- who come for entire terms not just one day, if someone is out sick or whatever then they are just gone and their class may have nothing to do). When grade 6 came back to me at the end of the day I asked them what they wanted to do. Sing and dance they cried. Hey, that is more than fine with me; let’s see what you got. They filed into the class, put down their bags, and began gathering at the front of the chalkboard to decide where to begin. They started stomping and shuffling their feet along the cement floor, filling the room with music before they’d even sung a note. Then one of the quietest girls let out the most beautiful sounds, they made a chorus around her, and each followed suit adding their part to the mix. I asked what they were singing about- everything! One was about a fast car, another was about their family names, and they even sang one about being chased by a dog.
After that they each got up and performed individually! On the spot each child had a song, dance, or chant to present to the class. This would never happen in a regular American classroom (Fame doesn’t count). I love the way children in this country spontaneously break into singing and dancing. Happily I can say T.I.N. (This Is Namibia)!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Last Week in PreServiceTraining

December 27, 2007
The clock is now ticking. Our two years has officially begun. We’re still in training and haven’t been sworn in yet but our projected COS (I warned you about the acronyms...it means Close Of Service) date is December 27, 2009. Whew, because we don’t start until January 9 and I couldn’t deal with COSing in 2010- it just seemed too far away. The feeling that things have already commenced is a good one. I’ve been drained by the heat, the inanity of the rules and regulations, and the lack of real down time unsullied by guilt. I kept thinking that I couldn’t believe that I was still standing on this side of 2 years. I wasn’t sure I could do it. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been here an eternity already and that we can’t take it anymore. Other times so many things are fresh and new and we can’t wait to discover all that is out there.
As we were coming in Nam25, the group 2 years before us, was looking at us in envy that we had this great adventure ahead. It’s funny because I was looking at them and wishing we could trade places. Not that I am looking forward to the end of service but they have already been changed for the better, they have already put in their hard work and come out better on the other side. I’d love to be going home and share in these wonderful times in my family’s lives. I’d love to be going on the amazing trip I’m planning to take on my way out of Africa. (Hey, I live in Africa. Sorry, I was just struck by that as I wrote the word. It’s been 2 months and it’s all still so unbelievable.)
I’m looking forward to this. My experience will be my own and different from every one that I’ve heard about. My adventures are still ahead of me waiting for me. Whichever side of the line we stand on, it will always be bitter sweet. In 2 years as I’m writing my final Namibian entries I’m sure I’ll be saying the same things as I help welcome Nam29 in.



December 28, 2007
Happy FTF! It’s Free Text Friday, the happiest day of the week. Actually here they call them by the technical name, SMS but who really has time to say all those syllables (another reason I’m lagging behind in my language- the words are just too flippin’ long!). So all day long we’re sending each other messages about everything and nothing. It’s the day we all catch up with each other and share about our week, vent our frustrations, and make each other laugh. This thing is so huge that they keep extending it. We love it so much that on Thursday we’re sure to put our phones on the charger and clear out our inbox- on Fridays we often get the dreaded “memory almost full” warning.
My first Friday SMS is always from Emily- cheers for that Em. I decided to preempt it today because I know she’s been having a tough week so I sent her one first. Other than sending love and sharing we pass along these hilarious messages written in awkward English and that are often overly dramatic: “If you count every grain of sand in the desert, add every drop of water in da ocean and multiply it by every single star in da sky u’ll knw how much you mean to me.”
“A candle may melt down and its fire goes off, but my love 2 u will remain a glowing flame that will never go off, til the day I leave this world.”
We’ve also gotten into writing our own: “If you were a Spar and I was a PCV, I would never miss a chance to buy a cool drink.”
(Spar is a local grocery store, cool drink is Namlish and we’re almost PCVs- get it? Nah, you had to be here.)
“If you were a telenovela and I were a Namibian, my world would revolve around you.”
(The obsession of “The Gardener’s Daughter” is ridiculous. I told you already that it’s a telenovela that has been dubbed into English and comes on every night. The way people run to the TV is hilarious, they must find out what is happening with Louisa Fernanda and Carlos Edwardo. If we eat dinner around show time and we’re not finished my host family always apologizes for leaving me at the table alone as they rush to the tube.)
An ode to our homestays during CBT: “I hide food in my room and keep money in my shoe, but I always have you in my heart.”

What will we do when they end it? We’ll all probably ET (early termination) in protest or out of boredom.


December 29, 2007
It was our last night in The Bing and that’s about all I can say. As far as my language group, we got off to a rocky start this evening but really it ended on a high note with hugs and wishes to see each other tomorrow. We discussed our lives and thought-provoking issues such as race. It was good. I’m glad I decided to hang out. We’re going back to Planet Peace Corps tomorrow but our Otjiherero group of Otjimbingwe has really bonded and loves each other, even though at times we need a break. Today was the Host Family Appreciation dinner and there were nine cooks in the kitchen all day. It was quite a bit to take. I simply stepped back when someone else felt comfortable or entitled to a certain job in the kitchen- I didn’t need any glory, there were many things that needed to be done. In the end I made the rice and contributed to other dishes as well as the cookies and prep and clean-up.
We’re not sure how much more of Camp PC we can take after having had so much freedom. There are people we want to see and we are ready for CBT to end for various reasons.
We’re going swimming on New Year’s Day I think and trust me, it’s been hot enough for too long. I’m actually really glad to be wrapped in a perpetual summer- I’ll take the heat over the cold and 10 inches of snow in Chicago any day.
We’re going to get t-shirts made that say, “I Survived The Bing” and “Nam27” on the sleeve. On the back we’d like to put a few of our favorite quotes (BriAnne is keeping a book of them- brilliant). “You know”, “Shall we”, and “You’re out”. Yeah, you kind of had to be there but we think it’s a fantastic idea.
For all of our winge-ing, we had a great time- the kids at school were awesome, we enjoyed the simple things in life and we laughed more than we ever have.
Adios Otjimbingwe, The Bing.


December 30, 2007

We Survived The Bing
Today was our last morning in Otjimbingwe. It was bitter sweet. I knew that I would miss our time together. We didn’t have outside entertainment like some of the other groups who had cafes and other awesome places to hang out. We had each other and we had a ton of laughs. I’ll miss that. There was also the less than excitement of going back to Camp Ok (Okahandja...I’m here now, Google Earth me!) and once again being surrounded by at least 70 people. We’ll go back to dorm rooms and jumping at the sound of a bell for food/sessions and late night gab fests about our feelings. Going back and forth like this is a bit jarring. For the past month I’ve been living a life that will closely resemble the one that waits for me at Epukiro Post 8 (minus the 8 other Americans).
There were definitely people that I wanted to see- Amanda of course, who greeted me with “Rolly!” (it’s a Room 30 nickname, also “Hot Dish”) and that’s what I had missed. But then there’s the social aspect where you feel like you have to talk to everyone about their experience and it just gets tiring and overwhelming when you have so many group members.
One of the funny things about today after we got back was that I kept checking around for my people from The Bing. We were all engaged in conversation but often talking to different people. We’ve started doing impressions of our language trainer, so we called out some of the funniest lines across the tables to each other and we’d laugh hysterically. It was our inside joke and we knew that we were still connected.
It feels so crazy to think that this is almost over. We are less than 2 weeks away from swearing in as official PCVs. No one has gone home since arriving in Namibia, and this may be the first group for which that is true. I hope we all make it across the lines and get sworn in as well as COS together. As different as we all are, we are all here and so we must have a little something in common.



December 31, 2007
It is the last day of the year- unbelievable. It’s always strange when settling in to a new place, it takes a while to feel like you are really there. This has not felt like the holiday season at all. I didn’t even realize it the day that was Thanksgiving (but thankfully I had 2 Thanksgivings while I was in The States and one of then just before I left). Christmas was blazing hot in the desert and didn’t really have any special feel to it for me. My host family graciously stayed in Otjimbingwe instead of going to the farm as usual but it was a day like any other. Personally, I am so glad to have been away from home for the past 3 holiday seasons and to not have that to deal with along with all of the other things we are going through.
While I’ve never had a warm Christmas, I usually try to have a warm New Years’ Eve so being in Namibia is perfect for me. We’re going down to the riverbed (there’s no water of course) after dinner and we’ll have a bon fire- I’ve been trying to roast marshmallows since The Bing so I’m excited.
As 2007 comes to a close, I consider all of the things that have happened this year and it’s been a whirlwind- from Japan to Vietnam/Malaysia then California/Chicago to NY/DC then Chicago/Philly to California then to DC and now Namibia. I’ve wracked up a ton of miles and cherish each step on this journey as I ponder what this year has been about. Since I’ve been living abroad but more importantly since I’ve been seeking God and paying attention, he’s been teaching me in themes. 2005 was about peace. 2006 was about freedom. 2007 was about relationships. This is such an on-going theme but most recently I realize that I want to be more open to more people. I tend to be introverted and would like to step outside of my comfort zone more. I want to enjoy people for who they are and welcome them to come along. As my language group learned from our time in The Bing, I do not like big crowds. I get claustrophobic. I prefer smaller intimate groups where you can really get to know each other and form a lasting bond. Seriously, how many people have 70 really close friends? Even as I write this I find that that is ridiculous. If you were to maintain that many friendships you wouldn’t have time for anything else in your life. There are other people here that I could connect with and if we are meant to be real friends I’m sure we will. Besides that I think all the Nam27ers will support each other any time we need. And I am very happy with the relationships that I’ve forged so far and hope to add new ones to my circle of friends.
What the theme of 2008? Only time will tell. From what we’ve done at model school I do know that it will be challenging to work with these learners but when we get through it will be so satisfying and humbling. I know that it will be frustrating to work with and for the government and many things we try to get done will most likely be met with resistance from most sides but we’ll keep trying. I also know that my group in Namibia will be here to support me, share ideas, and encourage me to continue on. My friends and family at home will send me love through the mail, the internet, and the telephone. The last thing I know is that it will be hot in this desert but I hope the winter won’t be too cold and that the rains will come.
May God bless you in this new year with health, love, and peace. May he open every door that needs to be opened and close every door that needs to be closed as he directs your steps and you continue to grow and change more into the person you were created to be.

January 1, 2008
It’s 2008 I live in Namibia and we have about a week until swearing-in as volunteers. It all seems so unreal. I’ll let you know when any of it has sunk in.

January 5, 2008
Since we realized that there would be a talent show at the end of our training I’ve been telling my friends that we should do something. We’d been through so much and felt like more than PCTs (Peace Corps Trainees) but we aren’t official PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) so I thought we should sing our own version of Britney Spears’ “Not a Girl, Not Yet A Woman”. Yesterday we downloaded the song and began playing with the lyrics. So many hilarious things have happened. Oh it turned out so well and we just couldn’t stop laughing while we practiced. I’d post the lyrics here for you but it probably wouldn’t be as funny to you. As you might have guessed the chorus was “not a PCTs, not yet a PCV”. Amanda, Beth, Emily, Leah, Sarah, and I sang our version over Britney while wearing sheets (an ode to the recent sheet “borrowing” investigation). People laughed and want us to print the lyrics in our next newsletter.
Another high light of the evening was that The Bing girls were presented an award for having the best (by best they mean most optimistic, least problematic, most successful in model school/host family integration, and most pleasant overall attitude) CBT site (Community Based Training)! “We Survived The Bing” t-shirts still on the way.

January 8, 2008
I’m packing up and leaving…for the sixth time. It will be good to finally settle in and stop living out of a suitcase or in a situation that is temporary. I must admit that although I’m not big on crowds, I’ve learned how to navigate through this situation and I’m going to miss having PCTs (not yet PCVs) around me. I will be on my own, not another American for 50k. Is that about the length of a marathon? Well that’s a bummer. At least I get to go hang out with BriAnne for the next few days at her sight before completely diving into mine. I have a bit of an easing in. We’ve complained about lots of hand holding along the way but this is a different kind of place than most of us are used to. I live in the 3rd most rural country in the world!!! (Third to who- probably Russia and Mongolia…lots of people leave Monoglia early I hear because it’s too cold) I’ve already begun enjoying the simple things in life. Ice makes me so happy. It’s great just to have something cold in the blazing heat of the day and usually nothing is cold enough. I’m babbling now because it’s the night before swearing-in and I still can’t believe it. We’ve been through so much and haven’t even begun our service yet. I feel some kinda way. Two have left and even if they hadn’t I’d still feel good about making it this far- they say that training is the most stressful part. Please keep me and my learners in your prayers as we start down this road together.

PS. I’ve decided that I want to read “The Outsiders” with my grade 7 and “Charlotte’s Web” with my grade 6. I need to get 35 copies of each shipped here. If you’d like to help please let me know, even just one would be great.

January 9, 2008
Today is the big day. I’m writing this before the ceremony because afterwards it seems that we’ll be whisked off to our sites as soon as possible.
I’ll have internet access at least once a month. I will probably write and then post once at the end of the month so you’ll have it all at once.

Thank you all so much for your support in prayer, through letters, packages, and emails. I can get Facebook in the village on my cell phone if you want to sign up. You can text me from an AT&T or T-Mobile phone. The occasional package is always appreciated. Please send it to Sister Catherine and with scripture/blessings on the package. My address is PO Box 1022/ Gobabis, Namibia/ Africa.
For my kids I’d love to get some board games; something fun like Candy Land and word games that are not too difficult.
For me: Whole Foods Cranberry Trail Mix (pre-packaged), Pepperidge Farm Brussels Mint cookies, Secret Solid deodorant (Vanilla Chai or other yummy smells), DVDs, good books (including crossword puzzles).

When we came from DC to South Africa, I left my camera on the plane. They couldn’t “find” it. It hasn’t been so bad without a camera actually, except that so many of you guys are missing my fabulous pictures (^_^). We went shopping in the capitol yesterday but the selection is really pretty limited and electronics are extremely expensive. The advice I’ve gotten is that it’s best to get one from The States. So if anyone is coming to visit me that may be when I get a camera. Or if anyone wants to help me out and find one for me and ship it via DHL that’d be pretty awesome too.

God bless you... and at the time of posting, I'm official!